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Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The Saviour

If you have read my last post, you know that I recently rescued a bird. I went to check on it constantly and it didn't seem as playful as it was at my house but it wasn't in a decapitated state either. It was more or less o.k. It is in an extremely huge cage with many other similar birds. No, it isn't sad as such but no, it definitely isn't as happy as it was when playing with me.

I plan to go there again day after with my best friend. The catch is that I just can't let it be. While I know it is going to be happy with me, I am bird phobic. Yet, I keep going to see it again and again and I keep seeing how it has lost its playful demeanour and is merely coping up. It is completely fit but I am not sure it is happy.

I don't know what I'll do, the NGO that I have given it to is very friendly but the people think that I don't trust them if I question them too much. So, well, I don't. Yet, I can't let go off the bird. When I let it into my house, it was probably thinking it was going to stay with me forever. I don't know, maybe, it wasn't. It is just a bird at the end of the day.

I rescued the bird and it is safe now. Isn't my responsibility over? Shouldn't I let it be and give it a chance to grow in it's new surroundings? The last time I went to see it, all the birds in the cage got dead scared and started fluttering about, the parrot yelled at the top of its lungs. While this Cockatoo kept looking at me like it wanted to say something. It was not really scared. It was probably trying to make sure I am who he thinks I am.

Everyone keeps telling me to leave the Cockatoo alone but something tugs at my heart and sends me to the cockatoo time and again. Oh, I do miss it! But why can't I leave it alone? I don't know if it is because I saved him and have come to care for him, maybe, like parents can't let go off their children no matter how hard they try. Have I fallen in love with the bird? (Not romantic love in case anyone is getting ideas)

I do feel disconnected with the rest of the world ever since it came to visit me. It is just weird, something I really cannot explain. It's like if you rescue someone, you take on the role of the saviour for the rest of their life or your depending on who dies first. So, a saviour has a responsibility towards its subjects, a responsibility to see to it that they are happy, taken care of and get what is best for them.

This will only happen if the rescued is in your view all the time. Only if you can see them all the time and keep them close, will you be able to take care of them. I guess this is why I keep going to the bird. I can't keep it close but I want to make sure it gets what is best for him or her. Yet, I also want it to live a happy life and not a sad one. Sigh! I hope I am doing the best I can.

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